There are many perks to being a bartender. ”Perks,” meaning “breasts,” was originally the perquisite of the job. A beautiful woman mashing her blessings together in order to get her drink before the next, is quite the thrill for a wide eyed, young bartender. Not to say that I no longer appreciate said mashing, but these days I tend to get more enjoyment out of making them wait a little longer.
Today, my line of sight is about 12 inches higher; I have been blessed to have met a wide variety of people, throughout many stages of life. This is my perk. I have seen the extreme of hurt, love, addiction, happiness and loneliness. I receive a snapshot of the lives of my patrons, never truly knowing what has led them to this point and always guessing as to where and how they will end up.
Throughout the years of observation, I have began to mentally categorize and catalog the various archetypes of people I experience on a regular basis. I, by no means intend this to be cruel. We are all a little pathetic in our own ways. 2 Cents #1:
Delighted Divorcée/Divorcé: These men and women come from a recently dissolved marriage. The separation was in fact a breath of fresh air from the sexless business agreement they have had the past 25 years. They probably shared the same lawyer, had very few tiffs about personal possessions and have children more concerned about the length of their collegiate keg stand than their parents parting ways.
Sexually aggressive by nature, along with a sense of creative exploration and openness to suggestion, make D.D.’s a romp to remember. Think Martha Stewart meets Macyver meets 70′s porn queen. Make sure to get in a good stretch before hand, because the idea of anything other than a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey bringing them to a climax starts now. Maintain eye contact, be firm and those mom jeans will have a home on the floor next to the bed in no time…have fun with it, you did good.
This quick and easy cocktail goes out to all you spicy middle aged man eaters. God bless ya.
1 small piece fresh ginger
1 oz. Canton Ginger Liquor
.75 oz. Tanqueray Gin
.75 oz. Fresh Lemon Juice
.5 oz. St. Germaine
2 dashes Angostura Bitters
Muddle ginger in mixing glass. Combine all other ingredients into mixing glass. Shake vigorously with ice and double strain into coupe glass. No garnish needed