Summer Tipple: Cucumber Daiquiri

As men, we are blessed with the amazing gift of stupidity.  Completely aloof, and happily being so, to our partners emotional and physical needs.  WE ARE MEN!  We are warriors equipped with sexual fire able to conquer any love fortress.  We are the shirtless Adonis’ covering romance novels world wide…we are standing strong and proud, adorned in Native American war paint, as our faithful and heated women kneel submitted, clutching our bulging thighs.  YES!…we are men.  YES!…we keep telling ourselves that.

As a single man approaching thirty, I look back on all my past relationships for themes, common denominators and issues that I can improve on for any partnership that may present itself in the future.  Without going too far in-depth, I would like to share with you one of my discoveries.  My ego has always made excuses for that one unused cucumber being in the fridge.  “Shes probably just making a salad, or starting a new heath & beauty regiment.”  I would confidently tell myself.  Days later the refrigerator would be stocked with a new cucumber, no salad to speak of, and the bags under her eyes looked as though they were packed for summer vacation(my insensitivity and over sharing would definitely be another parallel for my failed relationships, but that will be saved for a different post).  All those years, my chin held high because of the soft and satisfied glow of my loved ones face, were washed away by a 12 inch gourd.  You might be starting to ask yourself what all this has to do with cocktails…nothing really.  Lets move on, shall we?  Here is a great summer drink I would like to share utilizing this massive member:

The Cucumber Daiquiri

2 oz. White Rum

.75 oz. Fresh Lime

.75 oz. Simple Syrup

2 inches peeled cucumber

1 pinch kosher salt

Muddle cucumber and salt in mixing glass.  Combine all other ingredients into mixing glass.  Shake vigorously with ice and double strain into coupe glass.  I garnish with a floating cucumber wheel.

The beauty of this simple cocktail is that you can build on it.  Toss in some Tabasco, throw in some mint, maybe try different bitters or split up your rums.  Try it with Gin, half the cucumber, mint, rosewater and Angostura…you will then have Toby Maloneys Juliet & Romeo.

Disclaimer:  The story above is entirely fictional.  Any persons referred to in said story is entirely fictional.  Any likeness will be deemed purely coincidental.  I am truly awesome in bed, any reference otherwise was for pure entertainment value.

Published in: on May 18, 2010 at 7:13 pm  Comments (9)  

The URI to TrackBack this entry is:

RSS feed for comments on this post.

9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Me thinks thou protesteth too much Chad…:) Great recipes, Gwen loves cucumber drinks (our’s are always used in salads or cocktails), so I’ll definately lay this one on her.

  2. There are guys out there that may need to substitute this “Cucumber Daiquiri” for the lesser-known “Shriveled Wrapped In Cellophane Stuck In The Back Of The Fridge Zucchini Daquiri”.

    Especially if they are dating MY old girlfriend.

    Whooeeee!! I feel much better now.

    • Ha! Im glad you could get that off your chest…

      • I mixed up the Cucumber drink yesterday after work. In my hurried excitement, I forgot to strain the first one. Quite the swampy mess. Dumped that guy out, as I was mixing this for my girlfriend and didn’t want to embarress myself. Attempt #2 was a success. I don’t own a proper strainer, so had to resort to using one of those little TEA strainers.

        The drink got a big thumbs up. Girls certainly like their cucumber drinks.

        I made one for myself and was surprised that with the amount of simple syrup, the drink isn’t sweet. Simple syrup still confuses me. I don’t know quite when to use it when dreaming up my own stuff.

        Speaking of…

        “Steve’s first cocktail invention”

        1 oz White Rum
        3/4 oz Cheery Heering
        3/4 oz Lemon Juice
        1 tbsp simple syrup
        1 tbsp Dry Vermouth
        Dash orange bitters

        Shake Shake

        I tried it with gin as well. Not bad, I am using this to experiment with how simple syrup works in drinks.

        Thanks again for the cucumber recipe,

      • Hey Steve! Thanks for the great comment. I am really glad you liked the cocktail. A tea strainer works just fine by the way. As far as simple syrup goes, it should be used in 1 of 3 ways.
        1. Think of your simple syrup, or sweeting agent, in terms of ratios to your souring ingredient. A 1:1 or a 4:3 ratio of sweetener to sour is usually a great place to start, all depending on how sour you like your cocktails.
        2. A small dash or two can be used to thin out a cocktail and give it great texture or mouth feel.
        3. When making a bitter cocktail, I will sometimes use a small dash of simple(1:1 sugar to water) or rich(2:1 sugar to water) to smooth out the breaks and finishes in the drink. A *break* in a cocktail means that the transition of flavors in the drink are not smooth.
        Give all those a try and dont hesitate to ask any questions. I cant wait to try out your first cocktail!

  3. Good stuff.

    I think your use of simple syrup in your version of the Aviation is a good example of #3. “Smoothing out the breaks”

    The fog is starting to clear

    John and Mike made me some wild Mezcal/Tequilia drinks earlier in the week. One of them tasted like a peaty scotch. Every effort will be made to cross your path for my next visit.

    Thanks again.

  4. for the summer tipple, try an ounce of St. Germain with it (and adjust the syrup down probably a little). I absolutely love the lime/lemon St. Germain combinations…and the cucumber really gives it an even more refreshing summery feel. Awesome stories btw


    • Thanks Mark! How did I know you would want to throw a little St. Germain in there. Thanks for the suggestion and the positive feed back.

  5. Why not make this into a margarita with agave nectar instead of simple and rim the glass with a mixture of salt and cayenne pepper? Sounds pretty cool to me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: